12/18/2011
Christmas On-line
Every year I promise myself to try to avoid the Christmas shopping on the last minute. I absolutely hate the traffics everywhere, no parking space at shopping malls and millions of people everywhere. Not only that but they push each other, they scream at each other, they drive like crazy, ...oh no, not this year. This year I decided to be smart. I started on Black Friday. I did my search at the stores I wanted to shop at. I checked their list of items on sale on Black Friday and I was lucky enough to find pretty much everything I wanted to get. Than I have realized that most of these items are on sale on line as well, which was even better. I didn't have to get up early in the morning, or leave home after Thanksgiving dinner. That gave me an idea to compare the prices with Amazon.com. At Amazon.com I was able to get everything much cheaper than anywhere else. And as a bonus there was no shipping fee and I didn't have to pay the tax neither. I got all the toys for my son, nice pearls and handbag for my mom and nice box for my dad'd cigars. I even got a little something for myself ( since I was already saving money for not paying the shipping and tax). No stress and I am done and I still got my Christmas Spirit. Don't let the shopping fever to spoil your Christmas. Happy Holidays to everyone!
12/07/2011
Another Court Day
I have been divorced since last August (2010). Beginning of this year I have found out that someone in the court forgot to record our divorce in cook county. My ex -husband wanted to take advantage of it and decided to file another motion to re open our divorce and try to have it all changed. He thought he could get some money out of me. So not only he was not paying child support, he was also supposed to pay some money to me, but now he decided that he will try to turn it around so he could get some money instead. My attorney had to go to the court and explain to the judge, that we are divorced already but someone just forgot to record it. Luckily the judge saw the original order for our divorce and we won. Unfortunately it was still another pay day for my attorney and my expense.
And that is the problem. Anytime my ex-husband files another motion against me, my attorney has to go there and that costs me money. Once I have an order, I think that it is over. But is it?
My ex-husband filed same motions over and over. No one cares there are orders for these motions already. I just have to keep coming. There is always new judge who has no idea that my ex- husband is just taking advantage of the system and that this is his way of harassing me. All I can do is to just come to the court and try to explain to each and new judge what is going on. Problem is, that I might not keep winning. And even when I win, no one will order my ex-husband to pay for the costs. Maybe if they would he'd stop harassing me. How am I supposed to stop this? Why do I need to keep coming to hearings for something that was already resolved and I have an order for?
For example my ex-husband had a business. Ha had a construction company for over 15 years. After he had some problems with the insurance he decided to open new business and make me the president of the company. It was only on the papers as he was the only person who was handling anything with he business. I was working full time as administrative assistant in some corporate office somewhere else. Within a year since he opened the new company I filed for divorce. I thought I would let him to have the business so he can still generate the income. It was father of my son and I didn't want any problems I just wanted the divorce. Until I found out that he left the bank account of the business in negative. All the expenses were on my name and he continued to generate the income but left all the expenses to me. I was forced to close the bank account and close the business at the same time. I didn't want any debts on my name.
He opened another business on his sister's name, pretending he works for only $300 a week gross so he wouldn't have to pay child support. Later he filed a law suit against me claiming I owe him over $14,000 in wages. He was the only person who ever cashed any money from the business and had absolutely nothing to prove I owed him anything. He lost the case with the department of labor and lost the law suit in cook county civil court as well. It was also discussed during our divorce and he lost again. Now over a year after our divorce he filed another law suit for the same reason. Why do I need to keep coming since I have already won 3 times? What kind of system is this? Why do I have orders in my favor since they are absolutely meaningless and he can keep harass me over this again and again? When is it going to stop? Why do I have to pay for all of that? All I wanted was divorce from an alcoholic and crazy man who became very dangerous to me and my son. I want to live normally and provide normal life for my son but how can I , since I have to keep coming to the court and pay huge sums to the attorney for something I shouldn't have since there are orders for these things already.
And yet, we have another court day next week, new judge, who has no idea, what is going on, and I and my attorney will have to go though this battle all over again and it will cost me more money again. What a wonderful life in U.S. for single mom. If someone will tell you that women can win anything during a divorce, especially if they have children, do not listen to them. They have no idea what they are talking about. There is nothing to protect women, nor children. There is no way the women can win the battle if the guy is nuts and is taking advantage of the system. Definitely nothing will protect the women and the children from abusive ex-husbands and the women will have to suffer and pay huge amount of money just to survive, but never will they win. And that is the whole purpose of it. The crazy ex- husband doesn't even care if he wins. All he cares about is to force you to come to the court again. The purpose is not to win, but to make you suffer, to drain you financially and emotionally. That is huge satisfaction to him because you left him. That is all he cares about right now. He doesn't care that the money you are spending on the court could be spent for yours and his child, that instead of paying huge bills you could buy your child the stuff he or she needs. He doesn't care. All he cares about is revenge. And the revenge is very sweet seeing you every time in the court knowing you can hardly afford it. But he can. He is the one who own a business and makes money, so he is covered. He knows this is hard for you and is happy to see you like that. Oh, yeah, that is his satisfaction. And you just have another court day to attend.
And that is the problem. Anytime my ex-husband files another motion against me, my attorney has to go there and that costs me money. Once I have an order, I think that it is over. But is it?
My ex-husband filed same motions over and over. No one cares there are orders for these motions already. I just have to keep coming. There is always new judge who has no idea that my ex- husband is just taking advantage of the system and that this is his way of harassing me. All I can do is to just come to the court and try to explain to each and new judge what is going on. Problem is, that I might not keep winning. And even when I win, no one will order my ex-husband to pay for the costs. Maybe if they would he'd stop harassing me. How am I supposed to stop this? Why do I need to keep coming to hearings for something that was already resolved and I have an order for?
For example my ex-husband had a business. Ha had a construction company for over 15 years. After he had some problems with the insurance he decided to open new business and make me the president of the company. It was only on the papers as he was the only person who was handling anything with he business. I was working full time as administrative assistant in some corporate office somewhere else. Within a year since he opened the new company I filed for divorce. I thought I would let him to have the business so he can still generate the income. It was father of my son and I didn't want any problems I just wanted the divorce. Until I found out that he left the bank account of the business in negative. All the expenses were on my name and he continued to generate the income but left all the expenses to me. I was forced to close the bank account and close the business at the same time. I didn't want any debts on my name.
He opened another business on his sister's name, pretending he works for only $300 a week gross so he wouldn't have to pay child support. Later he filed a law suit against me claiming I owe him over $14,000 in wages. He was the only person who ever cashed any money from the business and had absolutely nothing to prove I owed him anything. He lost the case with the department of labor and lost the law suit in cook county civil court as well. It was also discussed during our divorce and he lost again. Now over a year after our divorce he filed another law suit for the same reason. Why do I need to keep coming since I have already won 3 times? What kind of system is this? Why do I have orders in my favor since they are absolutely meaningless and he can keep harass me over this again and again? When is it going to stop? Why do I have to pay for all of that? All I wanted was divorce from an alcoholic and crazy man who became very dangerous to me and my son. I want to live normally and provide normal life for my son but how can I , since I have to keep coming to the court and pay huge sums to the attorney for something I shouldn't have since there are orders for these things already.
And yet, we have another court day next week, new judge, who has no idea, what is going on, and I and my attorney will have to go though this battle all over again and it will cost me more money again. What a wonderful life in U.S. for single mom. If someone will tell you that women can win anything during a divorce, especially if they have children, do not listen to them. They have no idea what they are talking about. There is nothing to protect women, nor children. There is no way the women can win the battle if the guy is nuts and is taking advantage of the system. Definitely nothing will protect the women and the children from abusive ex-husbands and the women will have to suffer and pay huge amount of money just to survive, but never will they win. And that is the whole purpose of it. The crazy ex- husband doesn't even care if he wins. All he cares about is to force you to come to the court again. The purpose is not to win, but to make you suffer, to drain you financially and emotionally. That is huge satisfaction to him because you left him. That is all he cares about right now. He doesn't care that the money you are spending on the court could be spent for yours and his child, that instead of paying huge bills you could buy your child the stuff he or she needs. He doesn't care. All he cares about is revenge. And the revenge is very sweet seeing you every time in the court knowing you can hardly afford it. But he can. He is the one who own a business and makes money, so he is covered. He knows this is hard for you and is happy to see you like that. Oh, yeah, that is his satisfaction. And you just have another court day to attend.
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